How I Found Christ

Would you believe me if I said I’ve always been a Christian? Well, the truth is, I have always known who Christ was but never had a true relationship with him. While growing up, my mother was the head intercessor and head minister of the church we attended. So, growing up I would wake up and hear her praying at 2 a.m. I always thought this wasn’t normal and would be scared to tell people that my mom prays and anoints our house throughout the week. With this, she would have to attend minister’s and intercessor meetings throughout the week and would sometimes have shut-ins for 24 hours at the church for prayer. My mom tried to make my life as normal as possible but was still trying to make sure her child understood what was happening. 

This concept of prayer was really hard for me to understand, even in my teenage years; I struggled. What was taught to me was the more I pray, the better things will get. Well, in reality, that hit me kind of differently. In all actuality, the more I prayed, the worse things became. Such as desires, eating habits, alcohol, family issues, marital problems, etc., become more difficult to pray for because I struggled and noticed other people were still struggling. Not only that, but I also found myself really disliking church people and church culture. Honestly, some Christians are the most judgmental people I have ever met. This leads me to leave the church and try different alternatives. As an 18-year-old, I wanted to try other religions. However, that did not work. I was drinking, having sexual activities, and more. I just ended up finding myself worse off whenever I left the church. 

When I began 2nd semester of my freshman year in college, I seriously struggled. I struggled with my sexuality, partied every day, smoked weed, and was very anti-social because I thought people hated me and was scared in my room. When I told you I missed my mom, dad, and dog…..it was the worst feeling ever! However, in my undergraduate program, they have this senior mentoring group for all freshmen. I was utterly screaming inside because I did not want to meet anybody. There I met my now-Christian mentor Stoney. He noticed that I was afraid of him and honestly did not know if I even wanted to have a relationship with him. He kept his heart open and wanted to receive me with open arms. This was the first time I can truly say I met someone who actually walks with Jesus. Two weeks passed, and I never reached out to him, but he kept asking me when you want to meet so we talk. I always respond, “Let me get back to you about that.” 

I remember going through a rough life circumstance around this time, and all I remember hearing is, “Call Stoney.” I mustered up enough confidence to reach out, and we scheduled a day for us to talk. I do not remember the full extent of the conversation, but I do remember him talking about praying, and I felt disgusted. However, in the conversation, I felt led to trust him and walk this journey with him. I told him I would try praying and seeing how it worked. I told this man about my past, every single struggle I had, and every temptation I had. Even though he could not relate to some things I struggled with, he could relate to the fact that he has struggled with things, but it did not make him any less of a person or any less of a Christ follower.  

So, I began to try praying again, but this time I started with a verse before I prayed. I would open the bible with my eyes closed and read a verse my finger landed on. Once I read the scripture, I began to pray and found myself in tears because I felt this overwhelming love I had never felt before. This time in my walk, I got to know Jesus and not this church culture of Jesus. I freed myself from the church hurt and manipulation tactics that pastors would use on me and my family. I walked the beginning of my Salvation out with Stoney and Jesus and still am. My walk with Christ is a choice I made back in 2017.